How I Lived Alone With No Friends for 6 Years
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”― Jodi Picoult
In Short
I lived alone for 6 years. I had minimal contact with people outside of the internet and rarely left home. This is my story.
Why?
I had little money —just enough to get by — and had chosen to pursue an online career in a new city.
My Daily Life
Every day, I would wake up and make coffee. I ate breakfast at my desk. I worked from home for 7–12 hours, sometimes more, then would watch TV and go to bed.
Social Life
On a normal weekend, I would play online games with my friends. On rare occasions, I took my laptop and went to a coffee shop or local bar.
“And if you couldn’t be loved, the next best thing was to be let alone.”― L.M. Montgomery
Benefits of Living Alone
- Learned new hobbies
- Was able to stick to a schedule without interruptions
- More successful in my career
- Made online friends
- More reading time
- Time for self-reflection and figuring out what was important
Downsides
- Loneliness
- Spent many years not gaining real life experience
- Starved for conversation
- Made no close friends
- Stopped caring about my looks and home
- Became more reserved
- Traveling alone lost all charm, since I did it often and there was no one to share the experience with
- Increased depression and anxiety
- When looking back on those years, I have no memories that are important to me
“I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone.”― Daniel Keyes
Healing
When I realized I had a problem, I moved home with my parents for a month and decided to get a puppy. That first night I brought my puppy home, she laid on my chest and snored. I cried. I had not realized how starved I was for affection. After that night, I moved to a city where I knew more people from work, ended up in a relationship, and — after two years in that new city — no longer live alone. I lead a much happier life with my boyfriend and our two dogs.
Regrets
If I could go back, I would spent more time meeting people, making memories, and forming connections.
Tips
If you decide that you want to live alone, here are some tips based on my own experience.
- Join a local organization that will keep you social. It could be a soccer league or community garden. Show up. Don’t flake.
- Use your free time for learning. The one thing I don’t regret while living alone is the amount of online courses I watched, hobbies I learned, and reading that got done.
- If you become lonely and are in the right place for it, consider getting a pet. Having a pet helped curb loneliness and going on walks improved my mood greatly.
- If possible, live somewhere that is close to a coffee shop or some other place you can go to get out of the house.
- Keep your place clean and organized.
- Save money.
When living alone, taking care of yourself and your mental health is a huge responsibility. If you become lonely and have dark thoughts, reach out to someone. Even though you may be physically alone, there are many who care and will help steer you on the path to healing.
“Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.”― Elizabeth Gilbert
Thanks for reading.
